tick, tick, tick, tick... *boom*

a walking time-bomb, i feel i am becoming.

recently i've been feeling irritable, and it's been lasting too long to be simply PMS. PMS' not taboo, I attribute all my emotional outbreaks to it. in fact I wish it was the cause, things would be so much simpler if it was.

so i'm trying to figure out what is wrong with me. why i m getting more quick-tempered, particularly with KT, triggered by trivial things, and I cool down as rapidly as I flare up. I don't know what is wrong... I even wonder if I might be suffering from split-personalities...

pre-wedding jitters perhaps? is it becos in my subconscious I m not as ready as I thought I'd be? I don't have an answer, I wished someone could tell me, talk it through, sit down with me to analyze... and I realised that... I have no one I can trust to listen and not criticize me, well there used to be someone, but cynicism has come between us, or I assume it has, confiding should be done with complete trust, without fear of rebuke & despise. I suspect it is not KT who is making me upset, but being the closest to me, he gets to be the one who tips the dominoes of suppressed dissatisfaction, and naturally the one who suffers by it.

maybe we have neglected our relationship... i feel empty, unfulfilled, sometimes even lonely & alone... i pray this is just temporary, n that someone can show me a way out of this valley, cos I tried, and now I think I need someone to rescue me...